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Shockingly nude baked goods...

There has been all too much talk of food on Twitter. Photos of meals. Explorations of diners. Discussion of desserts. Virtual sharing of bacon sandwiches. Why, recipes have begun to take over respectable and otherwise entirely perverted spanking blogs.
One has to ask the question… WTF?

Are spankos and kinksters just aesthetes in disguise, looking for that next sensory fix, in whatever form it will take? Gin and tonic? Double chocolate layer cake with raw vanilla ice cream? Romp in the hay? The mind reels.

Fortunately, some sanity started to return to the twittersphere last night, with the suggestion that perhaps food did have a purpose in the spankoverse. It seems some of our number were using it as bribery in order to optimize the possibility of potential paddling of their posterior. To be specific, the celestial one was seriously squirming for a spanking, and she was pulling out all the stops.

And so began a discussion of just what bribes might warrant what spankings.
In order to ensure equitability in the meting out of punishment in exchange for reward (because we’re nothing if not fair around here) the following list is offered. It is not to be considered definitive, for we kinksters are innovative in the way of baked goods and bashed goods… but it’s a start.

And so, forthwith, the list:

Slice of bread – firm scolding

Slice of bread with butter – firm scolding with dirty words

Slice of bread with butter and home made jam – firm scolding with dirty words and corner time

Scone – unfulfilled teasing

Scone with clotted cream and jam – unfulfilled teasing with accompanying gropes and fondling

Muffin – Mild spanking over clothing

Christmas cookie – Moderate spanking (skirt up, over panties)

Cupcake – Light warmup spanking (panties down)

Chocolate cupcake – Warmup spanking, panties down, with butt plug

Mince tarts – Firm hand spanking until red and glowing

Orange cake with orange buttercream icing – ‘good girl’ spanking on the bare

Cheesecake – prolonged spanking

Raspberry cheesecake – prolonged spanking, pouts and corner time
(panties remain down, extra spanks awarded for actual raspberries)

Carrot cake – heavy spanking with inserted dildo

Chocolate cake – firm strapping

Chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream – firm strapping, with wind down sex
(missionary position for bonus points)

Chocolate cake and chocolate ice cream – firm strapping, with (do we really want to go here?)

Double chocolate cake – firm tawsing on the bare

Fruitcake – wooden paddling (bonus points if the paddle is made of wood denser than the cake)

Ginger cake – caning with inserted fig

Additional notations and suggestions are always welcome, and can be forward to the official keeper of the Baked Goods & Bashed Good list.

Your faithful servant,

Delightful nude baking goods...